rhapsodise.

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toxicity & addiction

Thursday, September 15, 2005

School's the bomb - the big dungbomb no one wants to accuse anyone of owning or dropping.
Life to me now is all about school. Due to the fact that i basically spent half of my day in school.

Saw a few RGS girls at the bus stop and to tell the truth, i was getting very much envious of them. My brother pointed to me that ACS(i) seems to be inhabited by a different breed of human - our ushers looked a little disjointed, they blinked too much in the sunlight. I personally think it applies to all upper-rung schools, whose children have been reading unnatural amounts and have spent too much time hunched over a desk. I mean, just look at me. I don't know how the hours just slip by like that. I am spending time exactly like I did O-levels: a lot of filler channel-surfing and eating activity with brief periods of compensatory intellectual stimulus (which often amounts to nothing more than reading a random book!) It is hard for me to manage time when I don't wake up early enough. There's something slightly off (be kind..) the normal templates, even though it's been years since I spent an unnatural amount of time with my studies.) I am only hoping the vague undercurrent of horror at how I waste time will spur me on to a semblance of diligence. I am suffused with well-being. :)

I'm always actively attracting the wrong kind of attention. The trouble really begins when you start counting your friends, doesn't it? It's chronic and terrible.

Atmosphere at home is resultantly tense. My mother yells at me from time to time to instruct me to do this and that. She can never stop complaining on how lazy i am. And i really hate being accused of suffering from the deadly sin of sloth. You know when you feel really exchausted, you basically do not feel like doing anything at all but if you're forced to do so. Then i bet you probably do it slowly.

I have exhausted all the energies I possess for formal typing with endless correspondence for my OA project. I have exhausted all my juicy and adorable anecdotes with perky emails to important people, I have exhausted my self-destructive desire to put a piece of my heart out on the Internet, having found more direct means of getting it broken. It is difficult enough without the worries which weigh inordinately, because I am obsessive.

Shall drag my unreasonably tired self to eat dinner I don't really want now.

|8:33 PM

Yours truly...

I go by the name of

Callista & i hail from planet Earth. I love

& I hate homework. I am bad at html but I love designing. I love science but I cant do chemistry, biology and physics. LOL. I've flaws, addictions, hidden vices and insecurities. I'm far from perfect and so are you. I laugh A LOT & I love people who make me laugh. I'm sarcastic, I joke around a lot so don't take it up the butt. Haha. I usually eat & sleep all day long, if not i`ll be shopping, sitting in front of my

or watching

. Haha. Wow I sound like a lazy bum but yeah. I'm a computer addict, can't live without my laptop. I love my family & friends. They mean everything to me. Without them. I'm shiit all. I am not as tough as I seem. I don't like dating because I am bad at it. I AM NOT as dumb as I look. I don't like feeling smothered. Scary movie don't scare me. I LOVE Horror movies. I've the worst attention span and can hardly EVER remember names. Oh, I LOVE soup. I've short term memory, i get confused & distracted easily, I can't multitask & I usually never finish my sentences. :] I'm a nice person, just don't annoy me with your rudeness, pettiness , fakeness & LIES. I hate liars. I tend to spout nonsense that no one cares about. I don't get along with anyone who has any form of authority. I'll tell you i'm fine when I'm not. I'm really into music especially to acoustic and ballad depending on my mood. It is true that half the time when you talk to me, I'm not listening. My english isn't terrific. I'm pretty anal when it comes to spelling and grammar. It is very easy to get on my nerves. I write/draw on park benches and any other hard surface that I come into contact with. Outer space is so fascinating. I tend to philosophise and psychoanalyze every thing alot. I am my own person. I'm a jack of all trades but sadly master of none. I LOVE LIFE. I sure do, and you must too, otherwise you wouldn't be living now, much less reading these words. I call people to tell them that i love/miss them. I'm not a junkie, but i have a few bad habbits. i daydream way too much. & i want to take over the world with pink and the brain. i don't get my hopes up for anything, cuz something always ruins it. :[ I wish for world peace, no more poverty, no more racial discrimination, and of course, a whole room to myself. And lastly, im a voracious eater. That's is why the excessive gain of weight. Lol.